an entry at last

Suddenly, I'm scared to write.

Scared for I might say the things that I'm not supposed to. Scared that someone might be reading this and he or she is not supposed to. Or maybe, it has been too long when I felt this, experienced this, that I'm not sure how to compose myself and act properly on these kind of situations.

"Grace under pressure." You will learn this in college. But how can I apply this in real life? I'm not sure... How can i act, move, speak, or influence if I know that there is something bothering me. When everything is moving as planned, when I thought everything is in it's proper place, something gets disarrayed. Now, I'm out of focus, and the plans seem to be vague.

But even with these things at hand, there are some pieces that seem to improve. The people who stayed prove that nothing will change. Not time, distance, or death will ever change what you have. These people are what you commonly call friends and family.

For those who left, well, thank you for the time spent and the memories that will be treasured. Even how painful goodbye is, you know that you can't erase memories, you can't change what happened. But you can be happy in the long run. This is where we move on. Yes, it might be a difficult job to replace someone important, someone who already marked your life, your heart. But, you can always treasure the lessons and learn from the mistakes. Now, more than ever, you should know how to take care of someone, how to show your appreciation, and importance. If you care, love, or whatever you might feel for another, show it. This might be the only time you have to do so. Regrets are the most painful things you will ever feel. Especially when you knew that things would have been different, IF ONLY you acted differently.

And for the people who becomes a new part of my life, let us see how things would go. Uncertainties, problems, difficulties are given scenarios. But we can always prove that we know better now, and we can make this through- together. :)


So life continues.

Choose to be happy.

-chin-

Not so strong now

One cannot shatter what is strong.
If one can cause trouble, then the relationship is not strong from the very start.

There are lots of people who blame a third party for a relationship lost. But don't you think that a third party will not exist if the bond of the relationship is strong? The third party is never a cause of the trouble. It is just a result of a troubled relationship. Don't you think so?

my take.

There are moments to wait, indeed. There are even more moments to fight. But there are also times when you get to realize that some things aren't bound to happen. There are just some things in this life that aren't meant to be. Some events are not destined to take place, some people are not meant to be in each other's arms.

Happiness is a choice, still. :) No matter what, choose to be happy.

Bru, don't forget that you have me, and you have YOURSELF. This is for you Jel. :)

update at last!

so it has been a while since my last detailed post. and up to this very moment I am not sure if I can make this post as details as it is supposed to be. A lot of things happened and by a lot, I mean a truckload of events. From the day that I started working fulltime, there are lots of changes. You can start with my sleeping pattern. I have a difficult time waking up at 530 in the morning and keeping up 'till the end of the shift. by the way, I work from 730am to 430pm. But there are times that I have to work up to 6pm when there are important tasks to be completed.

I am enjoying my work because of various things. For one, I enjoy what I do. This is one of the things that I enjoy, "helping others" by doing the things that I am confident at. I promised that for my first work, I should ensure that it is related to DevCom. I have studied for four years and I aim to work and apply what I have learned- just right for my current work. Project monitoring and evaluation is a tedious job but when you get to understand the why's and how's of the work, you can work with a clearer perspective and enjoy it in the long run. :)

On the 13th, I will be celebrating my first month at work. :) It is true that time flies when you are enjoying the moment. I get to stay at the office and work outside when it is needed. I get to meet more people and appreciate their devotion and passion with their work. I get to appreciate the "lazy time" that I had because now, every minute counts. I get to appreciate the whole essence of working because I know that it is difficult but I also know that I can make this a good experience for me.

There are also moments of enjoyment when working. The people at the office are reliable for that. "Friendly" may not be the sufficient word to describe them. They simply are themselves and their dedication to help shines through them. That is why I love waking up early and working. The people whom I work with- my officemates, and the people I work for- the community, are the reasons why I am continuing what I am doing. It is easy for me to quit, but I will not, not now and not in the near future.

the NEW girls... :)

a KID. haha! :)

field work, corals, sea grass, mangrove= love

That sea urchin is an aphrodisiac! :)
You will hear more about the environment from now on...
Join me in taking care of it.

Aside from work, I don't think I can spill much... Maybe next time, when I have the guts to share... and accept.


Happy mother's day to all the moms out there! Stay a blessing to the family. I love you mom!

One strong voice

Please take time to watch and LISTEN. :)


Happy Earth day! :)

worth it

There are things and people that are worth the sweat. There are things and people who are worth crying for. There are things and people that are worth the time. There are things and people worth fighting for. There are things and people who deserve all of these... BUT there are also others who deserve NONE.

choose to be happy... :)


*I'll be on a trip next week. Yey! First field work... :)*

Something's new

As promised, I am growing up. I know some of you might think this is a year late but for me, this opportunity came at the right time. :)

I am happy...
I am working now...
I am contented...
and I am loving it. :)

Three weeks after my birthday and here I am on my second day at work. :) I can't spill every detail about it, at least, not yet. But one thing's for sure, this is one of the jobs that I want.

Another step in my life.. :) An improvement I should say.

happiness naman! :)

after all the drama, here are pictures of "happiness"..
it was my birthday right?! i have the right and the reason to be happy. :)

i was with Jeb and Twinkle during the 18th of March. We waited until 12 midnight and celebrated my 21st year.. thank you.. :) no pictures. I didn't bring my camera because it was a spontaneous celebration. :)

the next day, I went out with Dad, Ate Day and Bebe. We ate at Max's and it was my treat. yey!

Me

Ate and Bebe

My dad

On the 20th, I celebrated with my high schoo friends. 9 years of friendship. cheers to us! Cheers to friendship! :)

My Loyal, Loving, ever Truthful FRIENDS

Margarita for Iris! With chicken strips on the side. hahaha

They are the RNs with ME. :)

On the 21st, we went to my grandfather's house. My Aunt just arrived from Dubai and my lolo also celebrated his birthday. It was no longer my treat and it was not part of my celeb. This time, it was my Lolo's. :) I enjoyed the day because I don't often see my relatives. I was just happy to be with them once again. We went to "tribu" restaurant (Naga City) and proceeded to CWC (Pili, Camarines Sur).

I told you, this time it will be about me. :D

21... to each his own

this is late, sorry.. :)

i turned 21 last March 19. :) yey!

Let me say that this will be the mark for me to think straight. A lot of things happened and most of them are realizations.

It made me realize who my real friends are. No elaboration needed. You know who you are and I love you. :) Also, it made me think of the memories I had in the past and the things I want for my future. It would be nice to keep the people you love in the past and be with them up to the day of your last breath. But this is not always the situation. There are times that you get to move on. This is what growing up is about. You learn from your past and apply the lessons with your present so that your future will be better.

Mistakes are mis-takes. Wrong. and they should be part of your past. I cannot hold on any longer to the people and memories that once made me happy. I cannot hold on to the relationships that once molded me. I can no longer be at peace with the people who continue hurt me. I have been trying to be nice and proper for the past years of my life. Some may disagree, I know. Either you know me too well or you don't know anything about who I am and what I have been.

It is wrong to judge. It is wrong to break promises. But sometimes, some people are naturally heartbreakers, deal breakers, promise-breakers, or simply put, a JERK. haha! But these people should not be the center of your life. You can always think of them and learn from them. But they are also part of your memories. They molded you, so thank them for that. Also, in the future, you get to realize that if that Jerk did not fuck up, maybe you are not "this happy" in your present. Think of that. Be reminded.

As my friend told me, you have your own beliefs. You cannot expect others to believe that way. Yes, thank you for those words. They are the truth and they hurt me big time. But I understand what you are trying to tell me. I understand that there are some people who think deeper than I do and there are also some who are too shallow for me. We have different beliefs, we think differently. So you cannot also say those words to me without hurting my ideals. I only hoped that others will be a little more sensitive than they are. I am only hoping for some people to think of what I might be feeling. I am not trying to please every person I meet. I am only trying to avoid hurting anyone. But there are times that it is I who get hurt. Now, tell me if that is wrong. Tell me if I am the bad person in our situation.

"To each his own" will be my mantra for now. I will try to care less of others. This time, it will be about ME. MY happiness. MY wants. MY life.

One of the highlights of my birthday would be my family and my friends. :) I may not say this much, but I hope you know how much I love you. :) Thank you for being there, for simply being with me, in thoughts or physically, in the past, during my birthday, in the days after my birthday, or in the future.

Hoping for the better, acting upon it, and believing for an improved year ahead,
~d0ndawnita~

One day to go! *woot*

♥Bold it, baby.

I was born in…
1985
1986
1987
1988
1989
1990
1991
1992
1993
Later

I am…
Under 5ft
5ft - 5ft3
5ft 3 – 5ft 5
5ft 6 – 5ft 8
5ft 9 – 5 ft 11
Taller than 6ft

My body type is…
Petite
Slim/skinny
Athletic
Average
Curvaceous
Full
Big & Beautiful

My eye color is…
Blue
Green
Gray
Hazel
Brown

My hair is…
Blonde
Dark Blonde
Strawberry Blonde
Ginger/red
Brown
Dark brown
Black
Color not mentioned
High-lighted
Dyed
Natural
Wavy
Curly
Straight
Short
Medium length
Long

I would consider myself…
Shy
Outgoing
Sociable
Anti-social
Sensitive
Insensitive
Bitchy
Kind
Friendly
Aloof
Mean
Intimidating
Approachable
Confident
Quiet
Loud
Popular
Different
Alone
Artistic
Creative
Smart
Musical
Loved
Hyperactive
Lethargic
Rebellious
Scary
Silly
Funny
Fun
Polite
Rude
Outspoken
Honest
Gullible
Miserable
Selfish
Happy
Depressed
Desperate
Lonely
Ambitious
Nonchalant
Affectionate
Romantic
Loving
Generous

In my spare time I like to…
Use the internet
Use myspace/facebook etc
Talk on msn/aim
Draw
Paint
Photoshop
Be artistic in other ways
Write poetry
Write stories
Write blogs/journals/diaries
Hang out with friends/boyfriend/family
Go out to eat
Play sports
Play an instrument
Sing
Church
Read
Walk
Play with pets
Walk pets
Surveys
Camera whore
Dance
Drink
Smoke
Hug/cuddle
Ice skate
Rollerblade
Shop
Watch TV
Watch movies at home
Go to the cinema
Go to the beach
Sunbathe
Go to the gym/exercise
Photography
Drive
Sleep
Relax

In school my favorite subjects were/are…
English language
English literature
Languages
Social Studies
Business Studies
Maths
Biology
Chemistry
PE
History
Geography
Religious Education
Art
Graphic Design
Technology
Cookery/Home Ec
Music

I have these pets…
Dog
Cat
Hamster
Rat
Mouse
Chinchilla
Fish
Tortoise
Rabbit
Guinea Pig
Snake
Spider
Other insect
Bird/budgie

My favorite colors are…
Black
White
Red
Green
Blue
Yellow
Pink
Purple
Orange
Brown
Maroon
Beige
Gray

I listen to this music…
Pop
Synthpop
80s
R’n’B
Rap
Hip Hop
Blues
Reggae
Jazz
Emo
Screamo
Hardcore
Punk
Goth
Metal
Rock
Rock’n’Roll
Electronica
Techno
Dance
House
Garage
Country

My style is…
Original/unique
Modern fashion
Casual
Sporty/Athletic
Emo
Scene
Punk
Goth/Gothic
Slutty
Gangsta
Skater
Hippie
Smart
Prep
Chav
Geeky
Not listed here

I love to wear…
Long dresses
Short dresses
Long skirts
Short skirts
Jeans
Hoodies
Cardigans
Sweaters/jumpers
Long-sleeved tops
Short sleeved tops
Sleeveless tops
Vest tops
Halter neck tops
Colorful clothing
Darker clothing
Stripes
Polka dots
Velvet
Corsets
Bodices
Jackets
Coats
Frills and lace
Revealing clothing
Cleavage enhancing tops
See-through clothing ;)
Push up bras
Balcony bras
Normal bras
Sports bras
Padded bras
Thongs
French knickers
Normal underwear
Granny pants

I watch these kind of movies…
Action
Adventure
Black & White
Family/kid
Disney
Thriller
Tragedy
Horror
Psychological
Drama
Historical
Documentary
Fantasy
Science Fiction
Comedy
RomCom
Musical
Adult/Porn
Animation
Christmas
Silent
War
Western
Crime
True life

My ideal guy/girl would be/have…
Tall
Medium Height
Short
Blonde
Brunette
Red-haired
Blue eyes
Brown eyes
Green eyes
Hazel eyes
Good looking
Average looking
Facial hair
Long hair
Short hair
Medium length hair
Afro
Dreadlocks
Tanned
Pale
Thin
Medium build
Muscular
Bigger build
Athletic
Alternative
Emo
Goth
Prep
Casual/own style
Punk
Gangster
Scene
Surfer
Skater
Popular
Sociable
Outgoing
Not so outgoing
Quiet
Shy
Loud
Witty
Intelligent
Musical
Artistic
Sporty
Polite
Kind
Friendly
Affectionate
Romantic
Traditional/old-fashioned
Cool
Geeky
Different
Rebellious
Masculine

I like to eat…
Italian
Chinese
Indian
Mexican
Other
Vegetarian diet
Vegan diet
Meat
Fish
Vegetables
Fruit
Cheese
Yogurt
Pasta
Pizza
Rice
Tacos
Curry
Burger
Chips/fries
Crisps
Biscuits/cookies
Chocolate
Sweets
Ice cream
Bread
Cake
Cereal
Toast
Sandwiches

I like to drink…
Water
Tea
Coffee
Hot chocolate
Orange juice
Apple juice
Other juice
Milk
Iced tea
Milkshake
Coke
Pepsi
Sprite
Diet
Dr Pepper
Alcohol

I am scared of…
Heights
Closed spaces
Open spaces
People
Serial killers
Rapists
Rodents
Spiders/other insects
Illness/disease
Death
Losing loved ones
Fire
Water
Some animals
Getting lost
Rejection
Heartbreak
Commitment
Failure
The future
The past
Sex
Heaven/hell/afterlife
Loneliness
Violence
Relationships
Needles
Being fired
Doctors
Surgery
Dentists
Fish
Squids
Sharks
Blood
Depression

This survey…
Was great, I really enjoyed it
Good
Okay
Passed the time
Wasted my time
Whatever
[ Love from ServinSurveys dot multiply dot com ]


yiii.. one day to go! let us end my 20th year with this! Try to know me more if you want to understand me. There is a reason why I act like this. There is a reason why I might like or loathe you. Ask me if you can. You can get a direct answer. :)

Yey! The coming year will be all about ME. :)

Photo-survey :)

Survey mode.. Photo style.. :) enjoy!

1. A picture of you in your room

*kelangan naka-nguso. ;)

2. A picture with someone you don't really like.

*i hate my alter ego. :D

3. A picture of you very drunk.

*pic of me drinking na lang. ala very drunk eh.

*eto nagpapanggap na lasing. ;)

4. A picture of you on your birthday or your favorite holiday.

*me, 20th birthday. ;)

5. The youngest picture of yourself in digital form.

*scanned. :) lampin kung lampin.

6. A picture of you in one of your favorite outfits.

*dressing room mode. :p

7. A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera.

8. A picture you might have edited to make yourself look attractive.

*bilbil part. eew..

9. A picture of a night you regret.

10. A picture of you being truly yourself.

*I am true when I am with the photographer. :)

11. Most recent picture of you.

*sa house ni kapatid. :)

12. A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous.

*ridiculous but fun. :))

13. A picture of you showing a new haircut/color.

*bangs mode

14. A picture of a time in your life that's over but you wish it wasn't.

*college days..

* AFP days..

*high school. :)

15. A picture of a part of your life that's over and you couldn't be more thankful that it is

*campaign.

*ala ako picture nung Finance sem ko. :(

16. A picture of you when you were anything but happy.

17. A picture of you that you had no idea was being taken.

18. A picture of you when you were a different person than you are now.

*me. before school changed me.

19. A picture of you with someone you love.

*My family. plus Manoy, Ate Shiela, Huey and Nadine.

* these people..

*and him <3

20. A picture of how you'd like the world to see you.

*an innocent child. :)

21. A picture of how you'd like to spend every day

* the beach is <3..

22. A picture of a time when everything was changing

23. A picture that makes your heart hurt

24. A picture that makes your heart smile

25. A picture of one of the best days/nights of your life

*kapagod mag halungkat. pero masaya. I just realized madami pala ako pics na na-delete. tsk. I need to get the files from my old laptop. :(

a post from my plurk

random thoughts lang po.. d ako nag aamok ng away. haha. pero pwede mag react, pwede din deadma. after more than one week simula naipalabas ang MMK "blusa" episode, nagkalat pa rin ang blogs about it. madami din nag rereact. dami na nakapagmura dahil dun.hindi naman ako makapagreact kasi d ko naman napanood.pro dhil sa dami na ng blogs and comments,paiba iba na ang issue.

sayang. kasi trusted, respected, longtime running show ang MMK with a network president as the host. bigatin at sikat.tapos magkakamali ng facts. sige, drama anthology nga.hindi daw documentary.pero kaya tinatangkilik ang show ay dahil sa letter senders at dahil true to life db? pero bakit ganun? nakakasira ng isang institution ang pagkakasulat ng kwento.

UP grad at SCL pa. pero panu kaya kung ibang school graduate yun? pero SCL pa din? anu naman ang reaction ng mga tao? anu ang subliminal message?

OA daw mag react ang mga taga UPLB... hindi naman ata. marunong lang kami pumuna ng mga mali sa lipunan.

state university tapos ganun ganun lang. panu pa yung iba? panu kung ibang skul ang nabanggit? ang iisipin ba ng tao e normal na yun? dba npapakita dito kung panu na-mold ng skul ang isang tao? isang SCL na incompetent?

UP man o hindi, sampal yun sa systema ng edukasyon.

another day

today is...

another day to play - for a child.
another day to preach - for a priest.
another day to travel - for a driver.
another day to live - for a sick.
another day to remember - for a widow.
another day for adventure - for a hunter.
another day to entertain - for a singer.
another day to provide - for a father.
another day to build - for an engineer.
another day to protect - for a soldier.
another day to clean - for street sweeper.
another day to work- for an employee.
another day to improve - for a trainee.
another day to serve - for a public servant.


another day to live, love, and be merry.

Let us be happy! :)

Another day is ahead of us.

Another chance is given to us.

Carpe Diem!

13 days...

in thirteen days, I will be older.
I only planned my life up to my 19th year. After that year, everything is a new adventure. I'm going to unplanned places but what is important is that I am learning. But now, I'm reaching another stage, another birthday, another reminder that I should really be getting older, wiser, and better. I hope I am.

I wish for...
love
happiness
direction
health
strength
contentment

These are the important things for me. This time, I don't ask for people or material things.

All that I want in this stage of my life is love. Love from the people I also love.
I also ask for happiness. A true kind of happiness.
I want direction. My life is continuous and I would want to live it well. I offer it to Him now and I wish that we will guide me.
I ask for health, for me, for my family and for the other people I cherish.
I aim to have more strength. Strength to live the life I choose to have and strength to face the challenges that are about to unfold.
Lastly, I ask for contentment. Contentment so that I can appreciate the things that I have, and be contented with what I don't.


Yey! I am getting older! For now, I have to make the best out of the remaining days of my 20th year.

yey! Nigel's bag arrived

Today, I decided that my laptop will have a name. Although I already gave him a name before, I had to think of a new one (I forgot the old name :p). At first, I searched for possible names that has the meaning "black". And the names "Jett", and "Jet" were the instant results. Although it would fit my laptop because Jet means a black gemstone. Just like my laptop it is precious and black but due to reasons I would not want to mention (haha), I prefer not to use those names for my ever useful and dependable baby (laptop).

Anyway, I decided that he will be called Nigel. Based from my research, it is associated with "black". Although it does not have direct translation or meaning, I like that name. There was also a character in W.I.T.C.H. that has a name Nigel. (Witch is a comic series from Summit, while my sis collects Candy and Seventeen, I collect Witch in high school)

So, the laptop bag I ordered in an online store in multiply arrived today and I love it. :) Here are some pics.

Nigel and his bags
(and yes, the background is a cup of coffee)

the set includes a tote, a sleeve, and an accessory bag. :)

You can check the site for the price. :p

as seen in the picture, it was shipped through Air21. :)

Again, you can check the site by clicking here.

This is another online purchase I super love. :) One tip though... You should make sure that your laptop fits the sleeve. Mine is just right. It is kinda tight but I think it will fit better when it is often used. :)

I will be working now.. bbye!